What to say to a mom who wants to be a stay at home mom

How Should I Respond to Someone Whose Career Goal Is To Be a Stay-At-Home Mom?

I see this question pop up a lot, which is almost ironic considering I am a stay-at-home mom. It really makes me sad that so many people feel that being a stay-at-home mom is a bad thing when it really isn’t.

How should you respond to an adult expressing the desire to be a stay-at-home mom?? Personally… I feel you should respond with love and understanding… even if you don’t really understand it.

Staying Home With Children Is Not an Easy Task.

It forces you to learn incredible lessons including:

  • time management,
  • multitasking,
  • meeting deadlines, 
  • logistics, 
  • creative thinking, 
  • selflessness, 
  • pushing through needs when there is no motivation, 
  • how quitting isn’t an option,
  • creative scheduling,
  • patience,
  • teaching,
  • personnel management,
  • mitigating chaos,
  • conflict resolution,
  • negotiation on numerous levels,
  • problem-solving,
  • … and many more skills that are incredibly useful in the corporate world.

Not To Mention Being Able To Do Everything on Little Sleep…

And let’s not forget embodying the highest honor of being their day in and day out guiding your beautiful children through life, and not forcing them to be raised predominantly by people other than the parents.

There Is More to Life Than Focusing Primarily on Money and Careers.

Yes, divorce happens. No, I don’t believe we should always prepare for it, “just in case.” I firmly believe to go into a relationship already preparing for divorce puts a huge strain on your trust and relationship, almost to the point where it becomes a guarantee.

As a child, all I wanted was to be a mom and stay home and raise my future children. Then as a young adult… I spent most of my 20s being told I was “too sick” to have kids, and that pregnancy would end my life. I was ridiculed by my 2nd-grade teachers for it and forced to change my answer when asked what I wanted to do. Compassion goes a long way… and is the one thing missing from our society.

Worried About Finances?? There Are Numerous Solutions…

While it is 100% ok to stay home with your kids and not make an income, many families can figure out how to make it work between living a minimalistic lifestyle, saving money on childcare, gardening their own food, couponing, living in an area requiring a lower cost of living, or networking to find what they need for free or small costs. Many families can make it work, even though, in some circumstances, that can be stressful.

For families who are ready for extra income or need extra income, there are many ways to make money from home while staying home with your kids. I do… as do a vast majority of my friends. There are NUMEROUS ways to create a source (or a dozen) of income while working from home with your kids around.

Pretty much… if you can think of it… there is a way to make money from it.

So… How Should You Respond to Someone Wanting To Be a Stay at Home Mom?

A simple “that sounds wonderful… I fully support, respect, and admire your dedication to your future family, and for your bravery to choose to stay home with your future children in a society that is so focused on careers” would be amazing.

And if 10 years down the road her relationship doesn’t work out… still be loving and supportive. There is enough criticism and hate in this world… she shouldn’t need to worry about receiving it from family. 

Author: Nicole Graber

Title: Writer, Editor, Wellness Consultant, Business Strategist

Expertise: Natural Wellness, Healthy Lifestyle, Home Business Strategy, Motherhood


Nicole is a military-trained research analyst, homeschooling mom, healthy lifestyle consultant, and flexible business strategist. She is the heart and mind behind MotherhoodTruth.com and GracefullyAbundant.com, and is a syndicated writer with bylines from MSN.com and the AP newswire. After living through and overcoming a season of homelessness and chronic health, Nicole developed a passion for helping others develop healthier habits using functional nutrition, herbalism, flexible business strategies, and renewing faith.

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