Tips To Find Yourself When Life Sucks

What do you do when life has you down so far that all you can see are your failures among the success of everyone else you know? That, my friends, is the million-dollar question for so many of us. Sometimes you end up stuck so far in the suck that you don’t know where to begin to find yourself.

Many people look at me today and tell me that I lead a charmed life. My friends, that doesn’t happen by accident. Before things can be wonderful, we need to struggle. We need obstacles to overcome so we learn to appreciate what life will give us down the road.

People look at me now and tell me that I have a beautiful family, a thriving business, and decent health. More often than not, those people either weren’t around to experience my personal Hell where I couldn’t even walk and, at times, couldn’t physically speak. I fell into a self-defeating routine that almost everyone I know has fallen into at one point or another. I was “out of shape.” I wasn’t “strong enough.” I wasn’t “pretty enough.” I was “too sick” or “too tired.” I had every excuse in the book on why life sucked. I am only where I am today because of my struggles. Each one of those struggles has taught me valuable lessons before creating the life I love today. And now, it breaks my heart to see friends and peers going through the same season from which I’ve recently climbed out.

I was sick. My medical care centered around treating my symptoms at the veterans hospital instead of finding the reasons for my fainting, seizures, coordination loss, and diminishing strength. I felt insane… actually, I was probably taking into account the definition of insanity (doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results).

I took to heart the words from my fifth-grade teacher: “If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got.” 

Through years of failing with trial and error to find an adequate treatment plan, I turned to my lifestyle.

First, my cabinets and fridge underwent a full makeover. I started paying attention to labels – what is in the food I’m eating and how it will impact my body. I started buying and eating (mostly homegrown) organic foods and ditched any item I couldn’t pronounce or understand (chances are it’s an unnecessary added chemical that isn’t going to do any good for your body).

Seriously – if you haven’t tried switching up your diet thinking organic real food is “overrated,” I challenge you to try it for a month. It didn’t take long for my energy to increase and my health episodes to lessen. I even started going for walks with occasional light jogs!

Next, I took a look at what was in my house. I went on a rampage, tossing everything with funky chemicals in it or anything that didn’t list what was in it (detergents are not an acceptable ingredient to me because it doesn’t say what the detergent is). All of my cleaning supplies and personal care supplies were overhauled for healthy alternatives.

No more phthalates… No more PEGs. No more polysorbates… No more artificial colorings, preservatives, or perfumes… No more petrochemicals… No more whatchamacallits that I can’t pronounce, let alone figure out how to spell… No more artificial, “toxic if ingested” nonsense.

That meant tossing shampoos, conditioners, soaps, windex, lysol, laundry detergent. Yes, I still wash my hair (no, not with baking soda). Yes, we still have laundry detergent… just don’t use ones with ingredients that aren’t friendly to our bodies.

Yes, we still clean our home…

I gave up Windex and Lysol for healthy essential oil cleaners and HOCl am much happier and pleasantly surprised by how well natural cleaning products work compared to their chemical-ridden counterparts.

Changing around how we eat and what we use on our bodies and in our home was quite the experience. It didn’t take long to start a new routine, and I really don’t miss all our old products. I feel better. I feel lighter. I breathe better. I’m more aware, alert, and have more energy. I even managed to have a mostly natural pregnancy, after spending 7 years being told I wouldn’t be able to have kids!

I’m sure you’re wondering how what you use to clean your body and house could possibly help your situation. You’d be amazed. You’re not only impacted by what you eat but also how you live and what you’re exposed to. The change I’ve felt is nothing short of amazing. Seriously – give it a try. What do you have to lose?

I wasn’t attractive. That one took me a long time to figure out. I used to be attractive, but then I became sick. And then… I became my sickness. I no longer saw any attractive quality in myself.

Trust me as I write this… You Are Beautiful! 

Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. Chances are if you’re lonely and not attracting anyone, it has nothing to do with whether or not you think someone else doesn’t find you attractive. You are. You have to find that beauty within and become comfortable in your own skin. Quality people are more so attracted to personality, character, and mutual interests. If the one who has your attention can’t see that, then that wouldn’t be a healthy relationship to be in anyways and you’re better off running in the opposite direction. Quality relationships aren’t built on the physical appearance – as that does change over time.

Find yourself. Indulge in a hobby. Adopt a dog. Travel. “Date” yourself. Figure out you, what makes you tick, what makes you happy. Only you can make yourself happy and once you figure that out, you will feel attractive and in turn attract others. My biggest suggestion: indulge in an intense personal development program!

My dog was my first sanity savior. She taught me to unconditionally love. She was there when I needed someone the most. She encouraged me to go for walks and gave me someone to be responsible for, motivating me to get out of bed when I otherwise wouldn’t have. She made me second guess questioning my existence because if I were to disappear, who would take care of her? She was the sweetest animal with just enough spunk to keep life fun and meaningful.

My husband, the wonderful man that he is, looked through all my health issues and accepted me for who I was, seemingly fearless of the health obstacles I was enduring and married me based on who I am. He taught me that I am not my seizure complex. I am not my fainting. I am not my stumbling and falling. I am me, and that’s who he accepted me as. The rest was just something we would someday overcome.

My son taught me a whole new meaning of love and acceptance. Its amazing, as a new parent, how much something so small can teach – even before he could communicate. I’m so glad to have pushed myself to grow and become healthy before having him. Of course, as a new mom, I’m naturally even more aware of toxins in our environment and constantly challenge myself to find ways to reduce them to give my son the best chance possible for maximum health.

Starting a business where I work from home has given me a new sense of confidence.

I’m able to stay home with my son while making a positive difference in many other people’s lives as they begin and/or continue their search for natural solutions for living healthy. Every day I hear from someone how blessed they feel for strengthening their health and how much better they’re feeling after using natural cleaning solvents for a while. Every day I am excited to wake up, knowing I have something truly productive to do personally and professionally. That feels really good!

Whatever life challenges are knocking on your door, know you can do this. You will get through it. This is just a season. You will get better. The only thing you have to do – is making a choice, make a plan, and stick with it. Life doesn’t change overnight, but you can make changes happen that in the long run will lead you to a truly blessed, blissful existence.

Author: Nicole Graber

Title: Writer, Editor, Wellness Consultant, Business Strategist

Expertise: Natural Wellness, Healthy Lifestyle, Home Business Strategy, Motherhood


Nicole is a military-trained research analyst, homeschooling mom, healthy lifestyle consultant, and flexible business strategist. She is the heart and mind behind and, and is a syndicated writer with bylines from and the AP newswire. After living through and overcoming a season of homelessness and chronic health, Nicole developed a passion for helping others develop healthier habits using functional nutrition, herbalism, flexible business strategies, and renewing faith.

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